Tag Archive: trouble


Haters Gonna Hate

On my birthday, I did something a little different than the typical celebrations. I logged onto World of Warcraft, rounded up a couple of friends to throw rotten fruit, and headed off to WoW’s Brawler’s Guild to pick up an achievement, Haters Gonna Hate. I had to win a fight with at least 10 stacks of the *debuff “You Stink!” on me. It wasn’t terribly difficult to achieve, since I’ve not bothered much with Brawler’s Guild and am still on very easy fights. The basic idea of the Guild is fun: kill tough monsters by yourself, solo. Considering I’ve killed loads of old raid monsters solo, you’d think I’d love the Guild, but no. It’s a huge time sink (you have to stand in line to fight, and you can’t leave to do anything else) and intended by Blizz for vanity and bragging rights. Yaaaawwn – like I wanna stand around wasting a bunch of time waiting for fights just so I can brag about how awesome I am at playing WoW. I’d rather do daily quests. At least I get gold and stuff for those!

But, yeah, Haters Gonna Hate – something about picking up that achievement with my birthdate stamped on it tickled my fancy. It wasn’t a WoW fancy. WoW just offered an opportunity, and I took it. I’m not sure it’s a particularly positive fancy, either. May not have been particularly negative, though. I’m not sure. I’m thinking about it.

You know, there are people out there who don’t like me. I suppose that’s somewhat inevitable. With all the people and their varying interests out there, not everybody will like each other. It’s also understandable if I’ve been a jerk to somebody else. People don’t usually think highly of those who have been nasty. But there are some people out there who don’t really fit those categories, and they don’t like me. We don’t get along well at all together, and I really don’t understand why.

One notably broken relationship is with a sister. I’ve already written about it some, and if you want, you can read about here, in this post. Even though in the past I’ve made considerable effort, I don’t have a good relationship with her. Something about me is apparently so odoriferous that she can’t peaceably be around me. Guess I’ve got lots of stacks of “You Stink!” and it’s stuff that I can’t help. I can’t. I can’t change that I’m smart, that I’m honest, that I have talent, or that I’m competent, and I don’t really understand why good characteristics like those would be a source of grief and pain for myself or others.

I don’t get it.

And I don’t think I gonna.

And I’m pretty sure I’ll never change her’s or anybody else’s minds.

And that leads me to Haters Gonna Hate. I’m not saying that she or anybody else actually hates me (I hope not!), but there’s definitely some unresolvable conflict and animosity. Unresolvable… It is going to happen, and I can’t change it. But you know how you get the WoW achievement? It’s not by letting your character die and lose the fight. It’s not even by winning the fight. You have to win the fight after having been hit at least 10 times with rotten fruit. You have to win while you are “covered in rotten fruit and shame.” You can’t quit just because somebody doesn’t like you. You can’t quit because those folk are throwing rotten fruit at you. You can’t quit just because they’re trying to shame you. You have to keep going. You have to win the fight, even with all of that crap coating you.

Sometimes I need those reminders, even from silly things like WoW achievements, because the loss of relationship can make me sad and even melancholy. The truth is, though, that even when I’m down, I don’t have to be out.

Happy birthday to me!

* In Wow, a character can be buffed or debuffed. Buffs make a character stronger while debuffs weaken it.

 

P.S. Know what the best part is? All that rotten fruit shows as a character debuff, but it doesn’t seem to do a thing to actually weaken your character. It’s just cosmetic. There’s probably a lesson in that, too.

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Owie

That’s what my back tells me these days. I got injured a few weeks ago on the job, tried to tough it out for a while, and then realized tough was not improving things. After seeing my MD for help, I got meds and a five pound lifting restriction. It’s made for a groggy, grumpy week. I greatly dislike feeling helplessness. Thanks to the pain, the meds, and the lifting and movement restrictions prescribed by my doc, I’ve been fairly helpless, and I’ve chafed over it. I’ve been angry and afraid.

That chafing has been enlightening. I don’t think I really have the brain power to process it today, but I have this suspicion that it’s telling me that I don’t rely on God quite as much as I’d like to think I do. I keep thinking about Hebrews 11. People in there went through really horrible things in there, and they maintained their faith in God. What about James? “Consider it all joy,” right, when we encounter trials and persecutions? How we sing out from jail? The pain and confusion I’m experiencing is nothing that hasn’t been felt before by others who kept faith and saw God’s provision. That others have persevered doesn’t make what I feel irrelevant. On the contrary, it’s encouragement to press on and seek God here, to learn anew of His faithfulness and His kindness and His peace, to live a life of faithfulness and keep my hopes set on Him instead of my circumstances.

May God bless your day,

Bekah